The Seizures Came Back

I struggled with the title of this post for a while. My blogging process always takes me through a round of “Is it witty enough? Is the title catchy? Will people want to read this?”

And in this case, I wasn’t sure with the answers.

I just want to tell it like it is for us right now. And that can be summed up in one sentence. The seizures came back.

About 10 years ago, the teenager was diagnosed with epilepsy. One day he was a typical toddler and was playing on the couch and all of a sudden he fell over into a fury of convulsions.

Admist screams and cries for help, my husband and I called 9-1-1 and sat through the 2 minutes of horror that was that was his first seizure.

That day changed our lives forever. The following days were filled with more emergency room visits (because often they send you home and tell you to follow up with your pediatrician) and endless internet searches (I didn’t even know what epilepsy was.).

For the next 3 years, we dealt with the disease. It was hard. Very hard. It was unpredictable. Anti-seizure medicines don’t work right away and have a lot of side effects, including more seizures. We also had two other children babies to take care of.

It’s hard for me to think about those years without being sad. Very sad.

Shortly after he turned 5, things changed. He had one seizure at school and that was it.  We didn’t see seizures again.

For 8 years.

After two years, he stopped taking the medicine.

We watched carefully, but nothing came back.

When I spoke of epilepsy, I changed my words from, “We are at a really good place right now,” to “No seizures in ____ years!”

About five years ago, I even started working for the Epilepsy Foundation as an Education Coordinator so I could help others.

The kids volunteered at epilepsy awareness events. It was one of our causes.

But three weeks ago, the seizures came back.

And this time the rules are different. The seizures are different. The doctors are different. The schools are different. The sisters aren’t babies, but tweenagers who get easily freaked out by all of this. During all of this seizure stuff, I still have to remember my thyroid follow-up stuff. And the obvious….this time there is no husband to change his work schedule so someone could always be with child, or sit with me when I cry, or share theories and treatment options with at 2:00 a.m.

So that’s where we are.

That’s why I stopped systematically smiling in October. I was overwhelmed with the seizures themselves, and just the thought that they returned took me to a place.

I don’t know how little or frequent I’ll be talking about it here. The boy has asked me to start a blog specifically for his epilepsy, and his sisters have agreed to write it with me.

And November is Epilepsy Awareness Month…so I’m thinking I’ll write a little bit…at least.

Because some days are better than others, and on the bad days, I just may need to talk about it here.

Either way, I hope you’ll join me for the ride…:)


One More Month of Mommy

momandcjHe reminds me every day. Every. Single. Day.

Next month, I will be the proud parent of an even prouder teenage son.  While I am not sure of where the past 13 years have gone, I am sure that it really has been 13 years since I gave birth. Thirteen years ago I entered the world of being Mommy. And I have enjoyed it…immensely.

But now, says the boy, he cannot call me Mommy anymore. Once he hits the teen years. Teenagers don’t call their mom Mommy, he says. So every day he will say, “Mommy, I am getting this all out now, but your name is about to be shortened to Mom.”

Blank stare and side eye rolled both up in one.

His sisters think it’s silly. They say they will call me Mommy forever. He told them they won’t.

So this month, I am enjoying being called Mommy. Because I have been warned that it will soon end. By a teenage boy who’s favorite snack is Dino nuggets. I’m not sure if the Dino nugget fascination will stop at 13. And I dare not ask. Because there’s some things you just don’t ask a 13-year-old. It kind of puts them on the defensive you know?

I am looking forward to the teen years, I think. I appreciate seeing the kids grow into real people. Not just little people, but real people. And I do like the fact that he is becoming more independent, but still needs to spend time with me regularly,

Let’s have cheers for my transition status from Mommy to Mom. I’m choosing to think of it as a promotion of sorts.

Tell me….is there anything I should know about the teens years? Friends don’t let friends enter this realm alone. 

Natural Consequences: Oh How I Love Thee!

Warning: The post contains a lot of tween slang. You may want to have your tween translate or have the urban dictionary open in another browser.

A big thank you goes out to my friend Mocha Mob. She one of my real life friends who also blogs. And she is GREAT in the advice department. And I’m loving this one…even if it did cost me some money.

Over the weekend, the Three Amigos and I went to the mall. I rarely go to the mall, but Old Navy was having a sale…so to the mall we went. And while we were there, I helped the kids with their summer bucket lists. H1 wanted snapbacks. They are  baseball caps that snap in the back…right, when I was growing up they were called hats. But now, they are called snapbacks. And there is a store in the mall that sells these. H1 got two while we were there.


snapback college


And so you are familiar with the snapback world, if they have a sticker on the like the Superman hat does, you NEVER take it off. It shows the world you bought an authentic snapback. Even though it snaps in the back…you still need that piece of authenticity.


So to say that he loves them would be an understatement. They represent everything swag. On his bucket list is that he wants to have at least 3 by the end of the summer. He’s been a big help to me in my post surgical life, so, I bought him two.  When we got home, I reminded him to put his slides and his snapbacks up (slides are shoes). He wanted to wear them both while we watched the BET awards. The swag of the slides and the snapbacks was appropriate for what we were watching, right?

But after the awards show, I didn’t think the swag needed to continue. Or, I kind of thought it was time for bedtime swag (i.e. pajamas). So I mentioned again, “You may want to put your stuff that we just bought today up in your room. And that was the end of the conversation.

Until at 6:30 a.m. I heard a scream of terror. “Noooo….you crazy dog! Why did you do that to my shoes?” Uh oh…you know where this is going. But you know what? This is exactly why we keep our bedroom doors closed! The dog!!! And guess what? We are dog sitting for a friend…so we have two dogs in our house this week. Two dogs who like to chew up things. I think he even woke up one of his sisters to tell them about the travesty of not putting your things in their proper place. Well, he would actually tell the sister about the travesty of the dog eating his shoe. I however, would remind him of the proper place fact. ‘Cause that’s what I do.

And we talked about. And he said he understood. So I mentioned that I have to take some things back to a store and I would see if they have the slides. And he said okay. Until about an hour later and I heard the scream again….this time, the dog got a hold of one of the snapback. I guess we didn’t learn the lesson about putting our things away. And now that this is a pattern, I’m not going to buy any more…until there’s proof that he learned the lesson.

And what you might ask, does Mocha Mob have to do with anything? Earlier this school year I was lamenting about tween behavior and she asked me one question. “What would happen if you let natural consequences take it’s course?” And I couldn’t answer it…until today. The most gratifying feeling in the world happens…because natural consequences are sometimes the best kind of consequences!