The Day I Learned I’m Not a Perfect Mom

I wish I could say it was the day I mixed the colors and whites together in the laundry and all of our white socks and underwear had a tinge of blue on them.

I wish I could say it was the week I was too tired to cook dinner, leaving us to eat fast food every single night and experiencing the eventual financial and nutritional consequences for the rest of the month.

I even wish I could say it was when my sweet toddler boy suffered from several seizures a day – sometimes more than 50 – and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

But it wasn’t.

It was the day I learned that my family was under investigation by Child Protective Services, because of a choice I madeContinue reading “The Day I Learned I’m Not a Perfect Mom”

There’s More Than Just Now

I’m so excited to be a part of Brooke McGlothlin’s Gospel Centered Mom book tour! This post was inspired by her new book, Gospel Centered Mom. Click here to visit Brooke’s website and learn how to purchase her book.

It’s 10:00 pm on a Wednesday night. It’s summer and the kids are in-between camps and organized activities, so there’s no scheduled place to be in the morning. They are also hyped from the evening’s bible study and worship service at church. For them, the words bed-time are not within range.

“Mom, we’re going to have a midnight snack. You want some pancakes?”

Unlike them, I have to work in the morning but the idea of late-night pancakes sounded delightful.

Continue reading “There’s More Than Just Now”

10 Books to Read to Understand Racism in America

Click to read suggestions for understanding the history and present-status of racism in America from the My Life With Him and Them Blog
If you’re an avid reader and need suggestions for understanding the history and present status of racism in America, check out this list. Affiliate links included.

It’s no secret that we are in the midst of a crisis in America. The racial divide is difficult to navigate as a parent, a college instructor, and just as a citizen. I believe that we need to start to have honest and serious conversations with ourselves before true change can occur.  Continue reading “10 Books to Read to Understand Racism in America”

What My Kids Learned from Attending My College Reunion

This mom took her three teens to her college to see the benefits she saw for them from

My history met its future on August 19, 1990. That day it was buried under the reality of moving my things from my parents’ comfy Chicago home to a modest dorm with no air conditioning and a shared payphone in the hallway. Over the next four years, it would come to be a haven for the cultivation of my religious journey, development of my leadership skills, appreciation of lifelong friendships, and protection of my naive and sometimes broken heart.

Simply put, the years from 1990-1994 were epic. They were so epic that I spent the next 18 years of my life trying to create that same type of experience for college students as a college instructor, advisor, administrator, and student services coordinator.

Let’s just title my post-college years as In Search of Epic. I had experienced epic and was now charged with creating epic experiences for others. And while I’m not really sure if any of my students would use that word to describe their experiences, I know that I put in many long days and hard hours to make sure their college years were memorable.

But eventually, the early 90s turned into the late 90s, and the early 2000s. And before we knew it, I became that college employee, still in search of epic for her students, but realizing that what she really wanted to do was impossible. I wanted to teleport myself back to the early 1990s.

Sure, I would watch  A Different World  reruns in syndication or rent Spike Lee’s School Daze to get my memory fix, but that fix would only last so long. And while I love my life as a 40-something mom of three, I do sometimes wish I could return to the days of old. One weekend not too long ago I did that – with my children – who are now beginning the college search process for themselves.

It was epic.  Continue reading “What My Kids Learned from Attending My College Reunion”

Authentic Communication: #Talktome


talk more

As a mom of bigs, it’s hard to get my kids to talk to me. Sure, they talk when they want to talk, and they often filter what they say. Translation, they tell me what they want me to know, when they want me to know it. There are always two (sometimes three) sides to every story, I eventually hear the 4th side (a side for each person involved, and the 4th side for the truth.). It’s a reality of parenting that I have come to accept over the years.

Even though I make myself available to them, even though I remind myself to listen and not react. There are just some things the adolescent mind does not want to share with parents. This week, The Huffington Post launched a movement to spark conversations between parents and children.  Continue reading “Authentic Communication: #Talktome”