Let’s Pretend It’s 1990

Welcome to a two-part series sharing bits of advice and wisdom to college students. This post is a letter to my 18-year-old self from my 45-year-old self. Part Two focuses on the advice from a few of my friends. 

May the good life be with you
Down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness
surround you when you’re far from home
And may you grow to be proud
Dignified and true
And do unto others
As you’d have done to you
Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you’ll always stay
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young

                                                                                                        — Rod Stewart

It was June 13, 1990 and this was our senior class song. As I prepared to take my final walk across the stage at my school’s auditorium, I remember those lyrics vividly. We were and always will be forever young. If I could write my 18-year-old self a letter, I’d tell her to stay positive, remember the world is her oyster, and there’s absolutely nothing that she can’t do if she puts her mind to it.

Then I would look around to make sure my parents couldn’t hear me, I’d look her straight in her eyes, and I’d say, “while all of those things are true, you need to know some more important info. And sister, here it is.”  Continue reading “Let’s Pretend It’s 1990”

The Most-Hated Parenting Advice



When I was a new mom, it seemed like everyone had advice about parenting or babies or family life. Even though it stressed me out, I listened and I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt because I knew they only wanted to help me and see me thrive as a mother.

A visit to the pediatrician with my oldest led to a discussion about sleep habits and he stopped me in my tracks and said the most important thing any doctor has ever told me.

“Whatever works for you is the best way to do it.” Continue reading “The Most-Hated Parenting Advice”

Tweeting Through the Teen Years – #1


I overheard this conversation the other day:

Child #1: Facebook for Mom and her friends is like our Twitter.

Child #2: You think? Maybe more like our Snapchat.

Child #3: No…Mom and her blogging friends are doing weird things on Snapchat. Stay with Twitter. {Disclaimer: By weird things, they mean take silly selfies with filters and torture  send them to our children.}

Child #2: Mom’s on Twitter.

Child #1: She’s on there, but Twitter moves so fast she doesn’t pay attention to what we do. Continue reading “Tweeting Through the Teen Years – #1”

Epic Advice for College Students

epic advice for college students (1)

With all of its chaos and emotion, the month of August can also bring refreshing and positive memories to social media feeds with the start of the new school year. For college students and parents alike, those emotions can be mixed, as it’s a time of independence and growth.

This year I entered my 20th year working with college students in some form. In the past, it’s been as an advisor or student orientation leader, and to be honest, I’ve even worn the mascot costume before.

Classes began for us this week, but students across the country have been moving in since the beginning of the month. I have two younger cousins who are embarking on this journey themselves and my hope for their success is no different than that of the students I see every day.

Because I tend to think I’m hipper than I actually am, I decided not to post my own thoughts on college student success, but instead to post a question on Facebook and post the responses here. Believe it or not, I agree with every single one of them! Continue reading “Epic Advice for College Students”

Lessons Learned About Kids and Technology

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I can remember it like it was yesterday. My children were in 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades when they received their first electronic devices as Christmas presents. CJ got an iPod Touch, Tyra got a Pandigital eReader, and Jada a Nintendo DSi XL. After their entry into the digital world, they have never turned back and at 7th, 8th, and 9th grades they each have a phone,  tablet, and laptop computer.

Through the years, I’ve learned a lot about monitoring my kids technology usage. It hasn’t always been easy, but each day is an opportunity to learn something new. Let’s start the conversation with some of the things I’ve learned.

  1. 12-year-old children really want a Facebook account. They’ve heard a lot of cool things about Facebook. Once they turn 13 and actually get one, they hate it. They hate it because their parents and their parents friends and their older cousins, and their aunts and uncles are on active on Facebook. A prerequisite for Facebook in my house is a list of about 30 family members and friends that the child needs to friend. I of course, have already sent those friends and family members a message asking them to extend their membership in our village to all things social media.
  2. Technology contracts are very helpful when allowing children access to devices. All three of mine signed contracts four years ago, and the contracts included a clause that said it was still binding if they got other devices. The tech contracts included participating in or witnessing cyber-bullying without telling an adult, hours for tech usage, rules for appropriate photos and content, and passwords — which always have to be kept on file with me.

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3. On any social media platform, we must all friend and follow each other. And we must also agree on how much information we share about our private family matters.

4.If there’s a social media platform that they want, but I’m unfamiliar with, I ask someone younger and smarter before I approve it. Last fall I had heard of SnapChat but I really didn’t understand it. The girls really wanted accounts. I asked my 25-year-old cousin about it and gave him the ability to say yay or nay. He didn’t know much about it, so he opted for nay. Meanwhile, I took the next three months to establish my account, learned how it worked, talked to older teens I know about using it, and by this February, they had the accounts and I knew exactly what to watch out for.

5. Use mistakes as teaching moments. Anytime we are watching the news and there is a story on regarding the dangers of naivety and tech usage, I make sure they understand in plain terms the consequences. If there are no news stories that week, I’ll find an old news story on the internet and we must discuss it. as a family. And even after all of that, they do make mistakes and I use those as teaching moments as well.

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