As a Christian Single, I #DateDifferently


Two conversations with two different friends – one a man, the other a woman – held at two different times but were about the same topic. They both wanted to talk to me (of all people) about dating and the future and singlehood and the one and “How will we know?”

My answer was the same to all of the questions. “I have no clue.” In one case, I may have gotten even a little nervous and jumpy and asked, “Wait…what? You want to ask me my thoughts on dating? Really? Are you sure?”

Part of the reason I become uncomfortable talking about dating is I look at it completely differently than I did in the past. In total transparency, I look at it completely differently than a lot of my friends. My Christian friends.

It’s hard to navigate the world of dating in our over-sexualized, want-it-now, digital society.

When I become transparent about my thoughts on dating and think about the mistakes I’ve made in the past when it comes to dating, I realize that many of the single people I know are approaching dating through the societal lenses colored by movies and fairy tales.

In order for us to get different results, we have to have a different approach. Different actions require different thoughts.

Even when it feels like everyone we know is sleeping together, doing everything but sleeping together, living together, Netflix and chilling, and hooking up because it’s cuffing season. Continue reading “As a Christian Single, I #DateDifferently”

How About A Book Excerpt?

I’m going to make this admission right here and right now. I can be a little extra sometimes. So much so that I tend to drop all kinds of news on my friends thinking that I’ve already told them things when in fact, I haven’t.

Or I write a blog post about it and when they see it on Facebook, then send me crazy GIFs and emojis. This week, I’ve already exceeded my limit for new news with Cheryl and it’s only Monday.

Sigh. Continue reading “How About A Book Excerpt?”


Guess what? I wrote you a book. Yes, really. It’s for you, your friends, your sisters, and any woman you know. It’s especially for the woman who gets discouraged by life. The woman who may be overworked, underpaid, and heartbroken. It’s even for the woman who sometimes questions God and doesn’t understand why certain things happen. Several years ago, when my family was going through a rough time, I learned that the most important part of my day is my quiet time with God. Cultivating that time has been essential to my life as a mother, a daughter, a friend, and a writer. My daily quiet time keeps me grounded amidst the chaos of the world around me.

Click the image above to pre-order and get special goodies!*

Life is busy. Sometimes even overwhelming. When we are alone with our thoughts, reviewing our schedules, and getting ready for that next appointment, it’s easy to become discouraged by all of the things we must do. Especially when the reality hits that some things may not go as we have planned. As much as we try to make it so, life doesn’t function in a straight line. The twists and turns in our lives somehow force themselves upon us and make us feel as though everything is spiraling out of control. The key to surviving all the twists and turns is remembering that we aren’t alone. God is always with us. If we give Him a few moments each day of our undivided attention, He’ll give us everything we need to make it through the day. He’s there. Listening. Consoling. Encouraging. Directing. Providing. Your time with God matters. And so do you.

Spiral and Squiggly: Living Intentionally When Life Isn’t Straight and Narrow is a 45-Day devotional that will enhance your personal and quiet time with the Lord. I hope that these quiet moments each day will do for you what they do for me…especially as I strive to live the life God had planned for me, rather than the one I’ve planned. It just works out better that way, even if the road has twists, turns and seems as though it’s spiraling out of control. Because it’s not. It’s carefully orchestrated by our God in heaven and we can rest assured knowing that all things work together for His good and His glory.

Let’s explore this for the next 45 days and see what happens next. I can’t wait to hear your story!

*Pre-Order Goodies include: Presale Cost of $7.99 (Regular Price will be $14.99 May 13), Free shipping, Book of Daily Prayers eBook, Autographed Copy of Book – Books will be shipped on or about May 14, 2018.

Three Simple Reasons I Celebrate Lent


Friends, why do conversations about religion have to be so….weird? Take this one, for instance.

“Toni, what is Lent?” It’s the season of preparation, fasting, and consecration of our hearts and minds during the 40 days preceding Easter. 

“I didn’t know you were Catholic.” I’m not, more than Catholics celebrate Lent.

“Like who?” Like Methodists. I was Methodist for about 15 years before I joined the church I’m at now. Lent is a thing in the Methodist Church.

“I don’t think you’re right, Toni. Only Catholics celebrate Lent.” I can also tell you that I grew up in a non-denominational church like the one I attend now. We celebrated Lent.

“No. You didn’t” Ummmm….okay. But I learned about it from somewhere and I think it was from my Mama.”

See what I mean about weird? Continue reading “Three Simple Reasons I Celebrate Lent”

Living in Community…Despite My Issues

I don’t need new friends.

I don’t want new friends.

I don’t even want to think about new friends.

I know, I am extrovert. I love people, and I get some of my best energy from those around me.

I’m also an only child.

I got used to being alone as a child.

I got used to doing things my way and being independent pretty early in life.

When I found my tribe, I was happy.

At the age of 45, that tribe is filled with absolutely amazing people.

They are totally amazing. From the college friends to sorority sisters to the people I befriended at the college where I began working at decades ago.

Again, they are amazing. All of them. And in all honesty, I don’t stay in touch with all of them as I should.

So on top of all of that, I don’t want to add to that group of already amazing people.

I don’t need new friends.

I don’t want new friends.

I don’t even want to think about new friends.

But God.

Continue reading “Living in Community…Despite My Issues”