Cancer Remembered: Feeling Antsy

This post is part of a month-long series on my cancer experience of 2013. They originally appeared on my blog at http://www.caringbridge.org.

It’s Friday…and I have a confession. I’ve been feeling a little antsy this week. We are going through all of the surgery scheduling stuff and I must say, it’s left me a bit impatient. I’ve talked to the nurses, the doctors, the insurance company, and we still don’t have a date. And that’s what I want….a surgery date. But as soon as I dealt with it during morning prayer a couple of days ago, the Universe let me know something. I’ve got a story to share with you in case you are ever really antsy too.

Earlier this week, my friend’s brother died. He was a throat cancer survivor, but in January he was diagnosed with an aggressive form of stomach cancer. When I heard about his passing, I immediately called me friend to offer my condolences and we talked about his experiences.
Before long, we discovered that he and I had something in common. We have the same oncologist. And then it hit me….I may not have a surgery date because my doctor was ummmm….trying everything he could to save this man’s life. This man who I know…who’s the brother of a good friend of mine. This man who I’ve attended summer barbecues with. And then I started thinking about the status of other cancer patients in the Texas Oncology Offices. Staff members could have been making hospice arrangements for those who don’t have a good prognosis, and they could be fighting with insurance companies regarding cases that are truly life and death.
And you see, my case is important. My cancer is serious…but I’m not fighting death right now. I’m enjoying life….I have a sore throat, Benadryl and Zyrtec are my friends, but I am living. And that is something that I should enjoy, and not be antsy.
As we enter into this weekend and the start of the Spring Break season for many, let’s put our energies toward living and not freaking out because the proverbial “they” have not done what we we want them to. And in good time, we will have the information that we need and I will have a surgery date.

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