Cancer Remembered: Was I Really OK?

This post is part of a month-long series on my cancer experience of 2013. They originally appeared on my blog at http://www.caringbridge.org.

I am asked this question at least  5,000 times twice a week. And usually, the asker is hesitant and nervous….like there’s an elephant in the room. So when there’s an elephant in the room, it needs to be introduced to the crowd.

The answer is simple: Yes. But I want to share with you why.
I live in a place of self-help and spiritually. I read blogs, I read books, and I practice all of it. I’ve read the Secret, I’ve seen the Secret…and it is no secret to me. Positive thinking and having a strong spiritual foundation is essential to living. Not essential for those who are sick or going through something, but for everybody.
So because I live in a place of self-help and balanced spirituality…the cancer doesn’t really take me off my center. It’s an issue, yes, but I’m able to recognize that there are so many other things happening in the world that are worse than this. Remember when CJ was having a rough time with seizures as a young child? That’s an example of way worse. Hurricane Katrina? Way worse. Randy Pausch, the college professor who turned his pancreatic cancer experience into an inspirational story for the world? Way worse. Human rights crisis in the Congo? Way worse. And what about Mattie Stepanek, the little boy who was a world peacemaker by sharing his Heartsongs with us? Waaaaaay worse.
And while we’re on the topic. I do cry. And crying is not bad. It is therapeutic. So sometimes there’s a trigger that doesn’t appear to be related to the cancer, but it hits a nerve and I cry. And then I move on because I know I’m supposed to use this experience for good.
And I return to my world filled with self-help and spirituality. That’s how I manage 3 kids as a single mom, that’s I deal with registration season at work, that how I deal with conflict, and that’s how I deal with cancer. You know what? I wasn’t in this spiritual place when I went through the divorce, and I am sure that’s why it took me to that dark place. A place that I never want to go back to.
So I get up at 5:30 every day to pray, practice yoga, read, and meditate. I can feel a difference when I don’t. My favorite authors are Priscilla Shirer and Lysa Terkeurst. I read emails from Mastin Kipp, Renee Swope, Lynn Lynn Cowell, Karen Ehmann and Glynnis Whitwater. I subscribe to blogs entitled, “The Happiness Project” and “Daily OM:Nurturing Mind, Body, and Spirit.” And the bible studies….oh Beth Moore, how you inspire me!
This is who I am. This is who I am with cancer. And I probably think this is who you should be too. (Well, as long as we’re being honest).
And simply put, that’s why I’m really okay.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s