This post is part of a month-long series on my cancer experience of 2013. They originally appeared on my blog at http://www.caringbridge.org.
After the initial shock of “my news” the first questions I’m asked is “How are the kids?” I initially told them that I had an illness that could be very serious if didn’t seek medical attention. They know that this disease is called cancer. It made sense for me to tell them because they witnessed the first asthma attack, they knew I was having back pains, they hear the snoring, and to not offer them an explanation didn’t feel right. And well, let’s face it…CJ turns 13 this year…they would know something was up.
But enough from me…let me let you hear it in their words.
“When I first found out, I was really, really, sad. I didn’t want to go to school.Then I decided to learn more about cancer, so I did research. I looked it up on Google, but now I know enough. I don’t really like talking about it much, but I know there’s a good prognosis. And now I know why my mom is hyper all the time.” — C.J., 12
“I don’t think cancer is right, and it’s not fair. I’m mad at those cancer cells. I like talking about it at home and I ask my mom a lot of questions, but I don’t like talking about it with other people.” — Jada, 9
“Sometimes I’m sad about the cancer, but my mom said we need to teach others about the disease. So, I’m making movie called, “My Mom Has Cancer” for our school digital fair and I’m doing a research project about cancer in class.” — Tyra, 11
So as you can see, this is definitely a journey and it’s challenging for all of us. Some days are better than others. I have cried the ugly cry, I’ve shed the dignified tears, and I’ve laughed at it, I don’t think I’m in denial, but then again, who does? The sheer reason you are reading this is because you know me well, and that means you also know I’m a “glass half full” kind of girl.
Many of you also know that my divorce took me to a really dark place. So far, this cancer is not as dark as the divorce place. Interesting huh? And while the divorce was so painful I couldn’t talk about it, this cancer is not. As a matter of fact, I think I should talk about it. Too many people in the world are diagnosed with cancer for us not to talk about it.
I’m still working at the college, and plan to be as my health allows, throughout the semester. Y’all know how much I love the Dallas County Community College District…I think I would feel worse if I couldn’t work at all.